2012: What a stressful year it will be!

Move over Quentin Letts with your acerbic take on the worlds Z list.  Even the Daily Wail's readers comments online thought you were a little caustic, although very funny of course, which is what you were supposed to have been.  People really do take life too seriously don't they?  And of course seriously, we are all going to become, if you haven't already, as 2012 dear tweepers, bloggers and readers will be one hell of a year.  Economic world downturn, wars raging and everyone wanting to 'have a go' at Iran.  

Property prices predicted to fall a little in 2012 by industry experts, although they are cautiously hedging their bets as none of them are really too sure about the world to be honest and Prime Central London is almost bomb proof (with much talk of the £10,000 per sq ft lateral in the near distance) as very little new property comes onto the market.  With many more billions of daft people being born into the world and wandering around the globe, than in previous recessions.  Perhaps with the reports of Amazon selling approx 1 million Kindles every day on line in the run up to Christmas, we should all bury our heads in our new devices and cast away into our own Victorian worlds, to celebrate Charles Dickens's bicentenary, reading all the great man's novels and wishing nasty things away.

So in this last blog of mine for 2011, whilst I could write reams on 2011, whatever is the point?  Everyone has lived and breathed the year literally, metaphorically and through all forms of media till they are blue in their asbo Footlocker faces.  Instead, my top 10 items of 2011 that I feel are worth being mentioned over the past formidable 12 months:

1.  Forget the pampered Duke of Edinburgh being the pre-historic Telegraph's man of the year, nice chap, and he has done well to get this far in the line of duty.  But, by far and away the man of the year award, if there exists such a thing, should be awarded to Mohamed Bouazizi, a Tunisian fruit seller, who burnt himself to death and sparked revolt across the Arab world.  He has changed the world as we know it forever.

2.  We should stop thinking that Africa is only about AIDS, starving children & corruption and look on the positives, especially with more women prime ministers and leaders there which should be encouraged and the only way forward whilst the old tyrants die off with old age.

3.  After initially thinking David Cameron a bit of a killjoy on Europe, perhaps it was right that he said F You as we know that our pasta & foie gras munching friends are seriously jealous of London and The City.  However, my worry is that he hasn't enough depth or genuine charisma for plan B, which of course is to cosy up to the BRICS.  Anyone in the Cabinet besties with Russia & pet puss Putin?  No thought not, unless there is another inside mole a la Tinker Tailor. 

4.  Yotam Ottolenghi, not only should be given his own series after the wonderful BBC4's Jerusalem on a Plate programme, but he could single handedly sort out the Israeli/Palestinian peace process through his love of food & recipes.

5.  Want a laugh with all the serious woes in the world, get down to Bunga Bunga on Battersea Bridge Road for a hysterical look at the world of Silvio Berlusconi.

6.  Dominic Strauss-Kahn, how we hoped you were innocent as most ladies found something secretly fascinating and sexy about you and wondered if you really were an old hair puller.

7.  Sorry almost forgot the Royal Wedding, although god it was dull.  The other royal wedding in Monaco was much more interesting, if only to see the spaced out anxious bride's face - poor girl - it was difficult to know whether she was going to be able to stand up straight for the duration.

8.  Mark Rylance in Jerusalem, amazing, amazing, amazing, the best British actor of our generation.  Frankenstein at The National Theatre a very close 2nd to best acted play of the year.

9.  Best new restaurant goes to The Delaunay.

10. Last but not least, R.I.P. the beyond bright and wonderful Christopher Hitchens.  I could have dedicated an entire blog to him, but am too busy re-reading his articles and books and viewing his brilliant debates on You Tube & the Intelligent Squared website to do so.  Who would of thought that within days, Hitch and Vaclav Havel would have died.  Surely they picked the third from whichever party (probably a re-run of Truman Capote's 1966 Black & White Ball known as the best party ever) they were having a scream at, choosing the next to join them in a pin the tail on the donkey kind of way we hope to set the scene in our heads.  The tail fell on Kim Jong-Il, our dear leader, to be the next famous person to hit the buffers.  All in the week that the Guardian announced that they were cutting their obituaries - terrible timing.

Cultural and not so cultural treats to look forward to in 2012, aside from the blasted Olympics - book your seats now:

1.  Spending hours at the cinema catching up on the pre-Oscar season, let's start with The Artist & The Iron Lady firstly;

2.  Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia - on BBC1 New Year's Day - just to see how much it has changed & of course love Cumberbatch;

3.  Art - what a year, have already done Leonardo old news.  David Hockney & Lucian Freud at Royal Academy, Picasso & Modern British Art at Tate Britain, Damien Hirst & Edvard Munch (obv not together!) at Tate Modern, Queen Elizabeth II by Cecil Beaton at the V&A.

4.  Radio 4 just gets better and better.  First people choke on their between Christmas & New Year late breakfasts to female masturbation being discussed on Women's Hour and then guest editors with Tracey Emin again on the Today programme get everyone in a tiffy - so much better than TV and you learn so much more;

5.  Theatre - Jaime Winstone appears in Sex with a Stranger and Agyness Deyn in her acting debut in The Leisure Society both at the Trafalgar Studios.  Patrick Stewart in Bingo at The Young Vic.  Royal Court Theatre - everything,

6.  Cate Blanchett in Gross und Klein at The Barbican.

7.  Simon Rattle & Nigel Kennedy at the Royal Festival Hall.  Simon Bolivar Symphony Orchestra of Venezuela sold out months ago, bugger.

8.  I think the Hay, Althorp & Cheltenham Festivals this year rather than the wonderful but been there done it five times Port Eliot, in times of austerity and seriousness. 

9.  Books - Lionel Asbo by Martin Amis in July promises to be his most noxious anti-hero yet.

10. Happy New Year everyone & hope your list of New Year's Resolutions suit you well.  One of mine is not to watch X-Factor.  After all my cultural highlights, can you not afford me a little low-brow entertainment?!

Merkozy, 5 Pollen Street & Eat, Shoots & Arrives...

Well the Turner Prize was awarded to Martin Boyce from Glasgow.  So obviously he didn't have too far to go as the prize isn't even now held in a Tate Gallery or at Tate Britain where a lot of the Turner paintings are exhibited anyway - it was held at the Baltic Gallery in Newcastle.  Reflection of the less importance of the prize itself or was it that Lauren Leverne hails from Newcastle and fancied a spot of visiting the folks and presenting the Channel 4 show all at the same time with Goldie in his wild grey snood? Or was it that Martin Boyce wouldn't be prepared to accept his prize, down with the southern softies?!

Richard Godwin in this week's Evening Standard says that the Libyan people have Bernard-Henri Levry (known simply as BHL) to thank for getting rid of Gaddafi.  As a guest on Radio 4 on Monday, the dishy French philosopher - one time paramour of the insatiably stylish Daphne Guinness, as well as being married to the world's most beautiful woman - Arielle Dombale - revealed that it was he who persuaded non hand shaker Nicolas Sarkozy of the moral case for intervention.  Levy's fellow guest, undishy British philosopher Roger Scrutton, was well jel.  "If only public intellectuals had that influence in Britain!" he complained.

For the last generation, despite the twists and turns of Conservative and Labour prime ministers, Britain has been determined to stay at the top table in Europe. This week, David Cameron, after months of posturing and disengagement, took the catastrophic decision to walk away, Ed Miliband says in today's Guardian.  We should be under no illusions about the import, the impact or the reasons behind the decision.  Instead, he has delivered the reality that 26 EU countries will now meet to discuss financial services without our country being represented in the room. That is not in the interests of Britain.  And while Cameron tells us he made his decision to protect British business, it is British business that will lose when Britain is not involved in decisions about their largest export market.

Cameron was obviously sent to Coventry.  Sitting on his own like a Billy No Mates, he did what every furtive singleton does at a bar, waiting for their blind date - start playing on his blackberry whilst in a sea of empty tables and chairs.  Eurozone = 40% of UK trade. City of London = 10% Has Cameron done the right thing?? A French diplomat described the P.M.'s style best, 'David Cameron's negotiating stance was like a man attending a wife-swapping party, without a wife'.

If you were thinking of calling 5 Pollen Street for a table, then I suggest you put the receiver down.  After opening in February to mixed reviews, 5 Pollen Street, situated opposite media posers hang out Pollen Street Social, even with the former Harry’s bar Eugenio Rolfo at the helm, will be lucky to survive another credit crunch bashing year.  It was a great shame that I didn't get to go when it first opened, when the likes of Chris Martin and Gemma Arterton were impressed by the cooking.  Alas, it really did not live up to the mark in the average cooking, souless ambience and most upsetting of all, the outrageous £173 bill for three - with no alcohol - as was taking an AA great friend out for dinner - £4 for a mint tea and £5 for an orange juice out of the carton and not freshly squeezed - sunny delight anyone?!  Sorry to get all Michael Winner, however, such a disappointment, in what must be, London's most beautiful small restaurant - walls covered with fabulous Gary Hume paintings & wall hangings.

In the Independent, David Thomas thinks Pandas are useless, antisocial, frankly rather boring animals. Their rise to global triumph, as a symbol of all things furry, is a telling commentary on our obsession with appearance over substance; for saccharine sentimentality over objective reason and for wishful thinking over harsh reality. Essentially, they are the WAGs of the animal kingdom: superficially attractive in an obvious sort of way, but entirely lacking in any genuine accomplishment.  

Tian Tian, whose name means ‘sweetie’, and Yang Guang, meaning ‘sunlight’, travelled from China on board a Boeing 777F flight dubbed the FedEx ‘Panda Express’, along with a vet and two animal handlers.  Hope they settle in and understand their handlers accents, as well as coping with the cold air and becoming fans of Alex Salmond.    Scotland, as beautiful as you are, you’re welcome to your independence.  We could use all that money that we support you with to improve our terrible schools, churning out our vacuous little monsters.

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest, or maybe you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:

1.  Skidding up to the Royal Academy door on the last weekend to see Degas & the Ballet: Picturing Movement;

2.  Settling into reading Newsnight's Paul Masons books: Meltdown: The End of the Age of Greed & Why It's Kicking Off Everywhere: The New Global Revolution;

3.  Listening to the 'world's most influential ad man' on Desert Island Discs: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b017vjlw/Desert_Island_Discs_Martin_Sorrell/

4.  Leaving the Christmas drinks parties before it all gets too messy & embarrassing;

5.  Wondering who in their right mind talking of embarrassing, would ever put themselves forward for Channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies;

6.  Amazing Jonathan Yeo: You're Only Young Twice plastic surgery paintings at Lazarides Rathbone gallery;

7.  At last, not buying new CD's and downloading everything onto the i-pod/i-phone;

8.  Wanting an i-pod docker as earphones giving me a grannyish ear ache;

9.  Looking forward to watching other Ryan Gosling films after seeing his performance in Ides of March;

10. Not giving a hoot about the dreadful X-Factor final - even their mentors are mortified by the average bunch left, not a patch on X-Factor USA - go Chris Rene!  Best to book tonight's 5x15 event instead for Human Rights Day featuring Nick Broomfield/Craig Brown/Giles Duley/Beverley Naidoo/Terry Waite in Shoreditch.

Melancholia end of the world, A Round-Heeled Woman & Human Rights......

The week that Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi was beaten to a pulp, Liam Fox was delighted that the despots demise knocked him off the front pages.  The EU rebels showed that they weren't scared of David Cameron, 79 Tory MPs rebelled against the government by voting for an EU referendum, as well as 19 Labour MPs and the most exciting news of all that Just A Minute with Nicholas Parsons will be broadcast on BBC2 to mark its 45th anniversary.  I think we've all known for a long time that the world has gone completely bonkers.  The world's weather, the world's diet and the world leaders’ brains have got inexplicably mushed and it is not even Halloween quite yet!

So is Lars von Trier a modern day Nostradamus predicting the end of the world or just a manic depressive genius?  Should we wonder why are we all striving for yet another Xbox to practice our embarrassing moves to, or working 100 hour weeks when we're just about to go up in smoke?  2012 Nostradamus predictions paint a bleak picture of massive destruction and havoc brought about by a comet. It is not clear whether this comet will strike the earth or will pass very close to our planet, causing massive earthquakes and other cataclysmic occurrences.  Certain interpreters put the size to be just a little less than the planet Jupiter, and if such a comet passes close to the earth the effect of its gravity will cause the oceans to rise and also give rise to earthquakes. 

Another theory is that the even though the comet will pass close to the earth it might cause an asteroid to shift course and impact the earth. Such an impact will be the size of several atomic bombs and will cause massive destruction. Some predict that the superpowers of the world will send atomic missiles to break this asteroid in space, but still there will be a shower of hail and fire from its fragments.  For 2012 Nostradamus also suggest that because of the massive destruction caused by the comet there will be widespread anarchy and certain nations can take advantage and plunge the world into a third World War.

So far so jolly then and Lars von Trier kicks off 'Melancholia' with the end of the world and then he hits us with a mesmerising story that's moving, troubling and beautifully filmed.  Jonathan Romney in The Independent probably wrote the best review and so without shame, I have done a Johann Hari (who I think is terrific by the way!) and lifted some of his best comments, as I couldn’t begin to describe the movie better.  The Dane's facetious "I'm a Nazi" routine in Cannes – which suggested that he's less cinema's John Galliano than its Frankie Boyle – drummed up the scandal that, unusually, his film itself didn't.  Melancholia isn't, this time, a Von Trier shocker – in contrast to the screeching excess of the art-horror ordeal Antichrist. Instead, Melancholia is intimate, surprisingly honest-seeming, and less interested in provocation than in weaving an eerie, troubling spell. Not that Von Trier isn't out for effect, to a degree – he does kick off with nothing less than the End of the World, our globe pounded to dust as it collides with a bigger planet to the overpowering swell of Tristan und Isolde.

This is only part of an extraordinary opening that's one of the strangest, most beautiful things in recent cinema. Melancholia's prelude is a series of tableaux in uncanny hyper-slow motion: a falling horse seeming to deflate like a balloon; Charlotte Gainsbourg carrying a child across a golf course that has turned to sponge at her feet; Kirsten Dunst in bridal white, entangled in ugly grey tendrils. The first chapter follows radiant bride Justine (Dunst), as she arrives at her wedding party only to find everyone behaving appallingly. Justine's sister Claire (Gainsbourg) and her wealthy husband John (Kiefer Sutherland) are fussing about cost and timekeeping; the bride's mother (Charlotte Rampling) is in a venomous sulk; and her boss (Stellan Skarsgard) is hounding her for an advertising tag-line. Little wonder Justine's one moment of real pleasure comes when she hoists her billowing meringue skirts to take a rapturous piss on the golf course. 

This part of the film is briskly comic, like a knockabout remake of Festen, but also decidedly odd: it's supposedly set in America, but you feel you're in a curious semi-Scandinavian non-place.  The sparer, more sombre Chapter Two is seen largely from Claire's viewpoint.  We learn that the planet Melancholia is hovering overhead, possibly on a collision course with Earth. Rationalist John, armed with charts and telescope, insists that there will only be a "fly-by", but Justine seemingly knows something that other mortals don't. "The Earth is evil," she snarls. "We don't need to grieve for it." This, the film's most explicitly adolescent bit of doomsaying, is closely followed by the only moment that's unintentionally comic, as Justine samples a slice of her sister's meatloaf, then mumbles: "It tastes like ashes."

Von Trier's detractors may complain that he hasn't really created characters, that he's not seeing beyond himself, and that it's terribly petty-minded for an artist to invoke cataclysm just because he's feeling out of sorts himself. Von Trier, however, is both a showman and a lover of the intimate: only he would pulverise the globe as a preface to a chamber drama about family unhappiness. I don't know if the world will quickly forgive him his Hitler quips, but for Melancholia, I'll even forgive him Antichrist. 
 

Let’s lighten up the mood for a second and I beg you to do one thing before the 20^th November and that is, to go to the Riverside Studios (make sure you treat yourself before or after the show at The River Café) and watch multi-award winning actress Sharon Gless (Cagney & Lacey, Queer As Folk, Burn Notice) in the fantastic A Round-Heeled Woman. The play is an adaptation of Jane Juska’s best-selling novel that chronicles the real-life adventures resulting from a personal ad she placed in The New York Review of Books: Before I turn 67 - next March - I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me. She received 63 replies, from men aged between 32 and 84.  Beware, it doesn't necessarily portray men in a great light, the only person who really understands her is the youngest guy and something very emotional in a library between them, becomes the most poignant part of the play.

Along Jane's courageous journey she falls in love, has her heart broken, suffers rejection and humiliation, has a lot of laughs and her first orgasm with a man after 30 years.

Book your tickets: http://www.riversidestudios.co.uk/cgi-bin/page.pl?l=1308749590

And so to the Human Rights Act.  Love it or hate it, it's here to stay.  Do you throw your remote control at the television everytime Shami Chakrabarti appears on Question Time, like a friend of mine does? or are you a paid up member of Amnesty International? with who you have to admire greatly in their quest for justice, whatever your political persuasion.  Perhaps the idiots that run our country are Lars von Tier's long lost cousins, considering the time and utter drivel that is written and spoken about in Parliament.  Theresa May won cheers as she declared that the Human Rights Act "needs to go".  At the same time, David Cameron admitted he would like to go "a little further" at reforming the controversial laws, which Liberal Democrat leader Nick Cleff has vowed to keep.  "We all know the stories about the Human Rights Act," May said.  "The violent drug dealer who cannot be sent home because his daughter lives here.  The robber who cannot be removed because he has a girlfriend.  The illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because - and I am not making this up - he had a pet cat."

Ken Clarke accused Theresa May of using a "laughable, child-like" example to press the case for scrapping the Human Rights Act.  David Cameron used his conference closing speech (unless you'd fallen to sleep by the end of the conferences, which of course you had every right to do, they were so tedious) to poke fun at Ken Clarke, suggesting his top team should read children's book Mog The Cat.  Cameron said, "If you, like me, read that book to your children at bedtime, you will remember that Mog The Cat helps the police to catch the burglar, not keep him in the country" and even walked off stage to The Cure's song Love Cats.

Good god, what a performance by the so called expensively educated people that run our country.  Is that Melancholia comet due to zoom past any time soon?!

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest, or maybe you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:

1.  Dreaming of a beach holiday even though summer hasn't truly ended;

2.  Booking Jerusalem, missed it at The Royal Court and the perfect Christmas Eve performance;

3.  Fascinated by the new Conde Nast magazine Baku - who would have known it could rival the South of France?!

4.  Buying Christmas charity cards & presents early this year to avoid the weekend crowds, even better, buy everything online and get it delivered;

5.  Missing TOWIE, X-Factor & Made In Chelsea, reason is as am out having a real life and not being remotely bothered by missing any of it;

6.  Re-visiting Notting Hill & Portobello market for old times sake, beware of the many, many, tourists looking for the blue door;

7.  Buying new clothes on The Outnet, Net A Porter's perpetual sale site & a big nod to designer austerity;

8.  Grayson Perry: The Tomb of The Unknown Craftsman at The British Museum;

9.  Booking a flu jab, so as not to come down with the lergy at the forthcoming Christmas parties;

10.  At last have seen Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, amazing acting and tension, although not quite the 5 stars I was anticipating.

Vanessa Redgrave, London Fashion Week & Tinker Tailor Sophie Dahl.

Have always loved Vanessa Redgrave.  Certainly not one to shy away from controversy.  A revolutionary Marxist who accepts Bafta's from a Prince - in this case last year, William.  Still glossy haired and bright eyed, she is now the travellers most ardent and prolific spokeswoman - Paddy Doherty Big Fat Gypsy Wedding by way of Big Brother winner 2011 would be proud!  It has been announced over the weekend that the travellers from Dale Farm in Essex have indeed been evicted and the campaign has been lost, although there have been more gruesome reports of gypsy thefts & harbouring overseas slaves on the camp, which hasn't bode well for their PR: http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2011/sep/10/vanessa-redgrave-interview?CMP=twt_gu

Redgrave does not boast the most tactful history of acceptance speeches. Four years ago, having been recognised for her lifetime's achievement by the Transylvania film festival, she dedicated the award to a group campaigning against a gold mine in Romania owned by one of the festival's sponsors. A number of villagers then put their names to an advert that was published in the Guardian stating that they were very happy with the gold mine and wanted the development it would bring.

In 1977, she won the best supporting actress Oscar for her role in Julia and told the audience at the Academy Awards that she wouldn't be intimidated by a "bunch of Zionist hoodlums". That's the kind of sentiment that might play well in, say, Tripoli or Tower Hamlets, but it doesn't win you many friends in Hollywood.  Winning friends, however, has never been high on Redgrave's list of priorities. Saving humanity has long been her main objective.  But when not giving her active support to a variety of causes, from the plight of Chechen separatists to the battle against supermarkets, she has built one of the most lauded careers in acting, both on stage and in film.

In 2007, Redgrave wrote an open letter to Natasha in which she regretted her absence as a mother. Most saddening of all is that Natasha was to die two years later.  In May 2008, before Natasha died, I watched Vanessa's amazingly intense performance of the one woman show "The Year of Magical Thinking," at The National Theatre in London, Joan Didion's unsparing play about grief following the unexpected deaths of her husband and daughter, which transferred to New York. In the time since she last performed the part, the life of star Vanessa Redgrave has taken a grimly similar turn to that of her character.  Hopefully more cheery will be Driving Miss Daisy which comes to London in a couple of weeks and yet to buy tickets for.  Set against the backdrop of the civil rights struggle, it's the story of Daisy Werthan, a wealthy Southern Jewish woman, and Hoke Colburn, her illiterate chauffeur, and how, over a number of years, they grow to depend on each other.  Long live Vanessa and her off the radar magical thinkings.

One silly season over, i.e. August and another one begins, i.e. London Fashion Week: http://www.londonfashionweek.co.uk/  #LFW as it is known, certainly beats the gormless velocity of dullness of the Lib Dems conference in Birmingham it has to be said.  Politics is showbusiness for ugly people was never truer when you accidentally turn over to the Parliament channel and see Danny Alexander, only to think you inadvertently tuned into Friday the 13th by mistake.  Nick Clegg giving a passionate speech, that even Miriam would look glazed over at.  Still swooning over David Miliband's excellent turn at Question Time last week, however, that's for another time and back to #LFW for now.  London restaurants are full of fashionistas, Nobu, Zuma, the newer Hakkasan Mayfair, in fact everywhere that doesn't serve carbs, is packed out with strange size zero people with huge sunglasses and oversized Birkins.  I was surrounded by them whilst I was having lunch at Nobu in Park Lane (never the Berkeley Street one, too chav) yesterday lunchtime.  I was far more interested that Lakshmi Mittal was having lunch two tables along and regret having the momentary lapse in pushiness to have given him my property business card.  Far more likely to be reading Fortune these days, rather like Zoe Lucker's character in Footballers Wives, than digesting Closer.

Bring back John Galliano, all is forgiven.  Well not quite forgiven to be fair and what a silly boy he was, everyone has since been to La Perle having their photos taken since the outrage, making faces.  As well as the fact that he hasn't showed his collection in London since the early 90's for what I remember, buying a brilliant ruched skirt in Square in Bath in about 1988/89 which was the height of chic and about a week's wages in those days.  Whilst London is buzzing during LFW and twitter is on high alert of new trends, nothing beats Paris Fashion Week for glamour, sheer talent and the fact that you can waste hours watching vaccous TV of Rachel Zoe's reality show.  Did you see the one where she went to Mademoiselle Chanel's salon above the shop and lay on the immaculate cream sofa with her dirty shoes on, said 'oh my gawd, this is awesome' about twenty times, whilst dozey Brad nodded like a parrot on speed, mon dieu!

Have you seen Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy?  Nope, nor have I.  Not since my favourite Curzon cinemas decided to raise their prices to the equivalent of feeding a small African country in entrance ticket fees.  Have read at least four reviews, listened to John Le Carre's excellent Radio 4 interview on the Today programme driving to work.  Perhaps I will see it, it sounds like the sort of film that so rarely gets made with top British actors and described as a spy Su Doku by The Times.  A client of mine watched it at Bafta the other night, only to have been nudged by his ex(obviously)-girlfriend, when he thought it too slow and promptly fell asleep on her shoulder, snoring loudly. 

On a separate note, did anyone hear Sophie Dahl begging for £500k on the Today programme the other morning, the monies to move her late grandfather's garden shed? The £500,000 will cover the cost of conserving the hut's contents and designing a space for it in the museum. The exterior of the 1950s brick structure will remain in the orchard but the interior will be moved. It has been left as it was when Dahl was alive, down to the screwed up manuscripts in the wastepaper basket and the cigarette butts in the ashtray.  I appreciate that Dahl was a national treasure, however, in between talks of dire austerity coming to meet us like the grim reaper and bailing out the damn Greeks, the timing from the multi-millionairess Sophie was very 'off'.  I was so furious I almost drove straight into the Thames from Battersea bridge incandescent with rage, although former Dahl flatmate Toby Young has written a piece to support her.  The back catalogue will now be know as: You're a right Charlie in a chocolate factory to pay for my shitty little shed and the Fantastic Mr Foxed-you good and proper.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/celebrity/dahl-shed-plea-falls-like-a-brick-20110915-1kbxv.html#ixzz1YJzLkulm

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest, or maybe you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:

1.  Here we go again, Downton Abbey Series 2 , written by the dear perennial snob Julian Fellowes;
2.  See you at Soho Lit Fest: http://www.soholitfest.com/
3.  Philip Hensher & Peregrine Worsthorne spate 'Are explicit sex scenes ok?' in this week's Spectator;
4.  Abba's 'Mamma Mia', the Mandarin version?!;
5.  Guessing who Simon Cowell's next girlfriend will be;
6.  The Lapada Art & Antiques Fair preview evening, see you at the Mortons champagne bar for the Rhubarb canapes;
7.  Fascinating reading of Kweku Adoboli, the new 'rogue trader' from UBS;
8.  Tickets ready to see Sylvie Guillem - 6000 miles away at Sadlers Wells next week;
9.  Must be the only person in London who hasn't yet been to see the new Westfield in Stratford, apparently amazing views of the Olympic village from the John Lewis furniture department;

10.  Wondering if my blog is creating its own Arab Spring judging by the fine number of visitors from the freedom craving countries.

The New Austerity, Ten Years on from 9/11 & Pedro Almodavar.

Hello everyone, did you think I'd fallen off the edge of a cliff?  or secretly hoped so? Not that I give a hoot of course.  It's been a very busy few months and whilst the blog has had a summer sabbatical, rather unfortunately I have not.  With changing jobs, getting the builders in and spending a fortune on Polly Morgan pieces of art, including some dead mouse that I loved from the surreal Brick Lane Art Car Boot Fair. I drag unsuspecting Sloanes to this fair every year and they never know what the hell has hit them so much so that refuge has to be taken in a pot of tea and a warm scone at Albion afterwards. 

Well it has been a full on few months, aside from two fantastic weeks in the South of France in the prettiest village in the world, just outside of St Tropez, which I am not going to tell you the name of just yet.  Certainly haven't been idle and whilst pen and paper at times were not forced upon you dear reader, a thousand blogs ran through my mind and the topics varying widly according to time and mood.  Life has been a little bit like the new Sarah Jessica Parker movie, I Don't Know How She Does It, although less saccharine and rather less lacklustre than the performance by all the guests, aside from the wonderfully foul mouthed Adele, on last night's average Jonathan Ross show on ITV1, bring back the old show, however, time will tell and hopefully characters will not keep dying off in time to appear on the show.

Since I wrote my last post, so many things have happened that have changed the world as we know it and we are edging, if not already 'in' the New Austerity.  The bankers are quiet for the time being, not quite understanding the impact that is ahead of them in the markets.  It seems that the whole of the developed western world is bankrupt and the developing world is forging ahead at a rate of noughts.  That's colonial karma for you.  I myself have started to embrace austerity.  Firstly, by going to Eight Over Eight for Saturday lunch which is offering 40% off.  It's a start.  The forever wonderful Lucien Freud died recently.  If only I had the courage to have spoken to him when I was 18 at the decadent ball held at Longleat.  When I turned around after escaping to one end of the quieter side of the tent to have five minutes quiet gossiping with my naughty friend Caroline, he was sitting staring at me with intent.  Me being naive and into daft looking young men at the time, I got scared and ran away.  I could've been gracing the Tate walls by now, made a fortune and everyone would've known the location of my secret mole.

The riots of August stopped London in its tracks for a few days and even David Cameron who loves a holiday had to race back from the Tuscan sunshine.  Nevertheless, at least he managed to end his summer in the rain in Cornwall, confident that he had tackled Gaddafi to the ground and being cocky of the fact that Britain had been one of the first to order strikes in Libya.  Luckily, this smugness was short lived, as live on air during the eversible Today programme on Radio 4, Evan Davis challenged the PM, comparing the rioters with the antics of D.C's beloved club The Bullingdon, captured in true violent and hotel smashing style in Laura Wade's play Posh at The Royal Court, which played last year and was an unmissable treat and would definitely see it again when it transfers to the West End at hopefully some point not too far in the future.  D.C. was momentarily put off his stride and we all smiled as we drove to work.

Since I last wrote, aside from the Duchess of Cambridge getting ever thinner, before she busts out with the baby bump, Ai Weiwei has been released from captivity and has been censored this week from the Chinese edition of Newsweek.  I am a turn of this year recent subscriber to Newsweek.  It was due to the fact that it has been taken over by the fabulous Tina Brown.  However, I find it rather interesting and well written and worth a gander, specially good footage on old sexpot DSK and old ginger nut Rebekah 'I'm not Murdoch's long lost daughter' Wade.  Poor old Ai has taken a literal beating and who knows what the future holds, although there was talk he was moving to Berlin to become a University lecturer.  Chinese censors have removed pages of Newsweek magazine containing an essay by Ai Weiwei in which the country's most famous dissenting artist slams the repressive environment in Beijing and criticises the police and the legal system. 

"Beijing is a nightmare. A constant nightmare," Mr Ai writes in the essay, that originally appeared on the Newsweek website and was then reprinted in the 5 September issue of the US magazine.  It has left many wondering what Mr Ai is planning to do now, as the article seems to fly in the face of his bail conditions, imposed on his release on 22 June after 81 days in custody for alleged tax evasion, and sets him on a collision course with the authorities.  Under the terms of his bail, he was required not to use social media, speak to foreign media or leave Beijing. Human rights activists believe the tax charges were trumped up to end to his online campaigns against the Communist Party.  He produced a very moving piece at the Tate Modern with the sunflowers seeds and an even more interesting short documentary on how a whole Chinese town was employed to create the seeds.  Even my mother who has little interest in contemporary art, aside from queing for hours in Bristol to see the Banksy exhibition found Mr Weiwei fascinating.

And so the footage of 9/11 is being revamped and re-reported on every channel now until Friday's big day.  I remember it well, having just stepped off a plain from Turkey very early that morning, and after having a nap at home, switching on the TV to wonder what the hell was going on.  I was also dumped the day after the disaster and managed to lose over half a stone that week with the distress, so I remember the disaster fully as I had experienced two in one week.  Granta has an amazing talk on Friday at The Frontline Club to discuss the impact of 9/11 ten years on.  Their new issue is dedicated to conjuring up the complexity and sorrow of life since the fateful day and the stories cover a street vendor in Tunisia, an American Marine going home and a signals operator on a North Korean fishing trawler.  If you want to be taken from the battlefields of Afghanistan to the streets of Mogadishu and Toronto, there could be worse books to read on the subject and worth supporting this ecletic publisher, http://www.granta.com/

During the last Bank Holiday of the Year until Christmas, I took myself off to the now passée climes of the Kings Road with friends to see Pedro Almodavar's, The Skin I Live In at the Curzon.  The best parts of the King's Road these days are of course Sloane Square itself and the run of shops opposite Peter Jones, also parts of the Duke of York's Square and of course John Sandoe's bookshop.  The road then turns into anywhere's ville, although the streets off that stretch of the King's Road are a great place to live and the properties charming.  The KR becomes interesting again when you reach the junction of Old Church Street and beyond and a real smartening up of the area is happening close to Beaufort Street with a new Triyoga centre opened up, although I don't want to kick my asanas with my clients and skid in each other's puddles of sweat from a hundred downward dogs.  As a half Spanish person, I can safely say without fear of being seen as a rude xenophobic, that La piel que habito was a load of Spanish surreal nonsense.   Antonio Banderas did look fantastic and played the part of the intense plastic surgeon very well.  There is a twist of course and I won't spoil it here, however, it lacks the humour of many of Almodavar's other films and is good rather than great.  Go see it, but be warned, give it the 4-5 stars that the newspapers have given the film, not so sure.  Yes he creates a monster, yes someone dies and yes, I did go in my gym kit.

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest, or maybe you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:

1.  Tickets for Ruby Wax's performance of 'Losing It' next week, can't wait;
2.  Enjoying everyone's favourite alledged hypocrite Polly Toynbee: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b013qz77/The_Class_Ceiling_Episode_1/
3.  Jivamukti Yoga in Kensal Road, still my favourite way to exercise, even though the Evening Standard write up was somewhat dull and did not capture the spirit of the place, just look at Madonna looking amazing at Venice Film Festival to see that yoga works & keeps you young (as well as no office job & Botox of course);
4.  Loving the fact that Gadaffi's compound when raided, was found with an armful of the FT's weekend How to Spend It Magazines, well thumbed and obviously well read;
5.  Even better than the Wolseley, brunch at Hélène Darroze at The Connaught;
6.  Who knew that Dominic West could play such a convincing serial killer: Appropriate Adult - Fred West, starting this evening on ITV1;
7.  Loving Dr Choy in Wimpole Street, the only person so far that seems to have 'so-far' cured my asthma through allergy testing via vitamins & diet;
8.  Tickets already booked for The National Gallery's crush to death exhibition of Leonardo Da Vinci - Painter at The Court of Milan in November;
9.  Resisting going but must check it out - One New Change shopping centre next to St Paul's Cathedral.
10.  Bugger the winter, I hate it, Joseph coat or not.  Wish I could hang out at Club 55 all year round, dreaming about the dover sole and the hot guy on holiday with his mother! 

The Royal Wedding, Osama Bin Laden & Dubai...

Time travels at 100 miles an hour, even more in a city like London.  If only it had zoomed by on the 29th of April though.  The Royal Wedding of course.  Fantastically absorbing for the first 1-2 hours and then felt like wading through mud for the latter part of the most over hyped day of the year, as being abroad I watched it alternating between the stuffy BBC and Piers Morgan on CNN, I hear that ITV was the best choice of the day, although that was not an option in the Middle East.  The Queen of course is amazing and will not hear a bad word said about her, she was there without Zachary.  David Beckham decided to be styled by Ricky Gervais, his wife who of course is not Posh mistakenly thought that they were going to a funeral, which if they had, she would've been the best dressed guest.  Tara P-T suffered from colour blindness and only thought that the one available colour was cobalt blue, wearing a hat pointing to her new nose.  Her sister Santa, who is usually amazingly stylish threw on an old fox throw which made her ensemble very 80's.  Three women turned up in the same Matthew Williamson leopard print coat.

The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) may be the most fun programme on television until next week's the Only Way is Chelsea, however, it was far too obvious that Prince Andrew's daughters (Fergie not being invited was a travesty) and the Spencer girls to take TOWIE as their ultimate inspiration.  I did a double take as the King of Tong arrived, he is the spitting image of Mohamed Al-Fayed!  Now that would have been controversial.  Which sadly there was not a whisper of controversy, wit or charisma in any of the performance.  Miriam Clegg thought that she was auditioning for Evita, Samantha Cameron was dressed for a week day evening London drinks party (Burberry dress sold out on-line within an hour at £496) and William Hague's wife Ffion milked the leg to full effect to bag a ring side view.  Boris gave an interview as he was walking into the church, his poor wife standing 100 metres away on the grass behind.  He was very funny, although I wouldn't vote for him again as Mayor and has given the happy couple a tandem bicycle for a wedding present.

Harry looked pale and tired, removing his hat on arrival at the church, he began sweating like a very hot and bothered rapist.  Thank goodnesss someone had the good sense to tell him which fancy dress outfit to wear for the day, as the last one would not have been terribly appropriate.  The wedding ring ideally needed a glob of KY Jelly to get it over Catherine's anxious swollen finger.  The conversations of the day, interpreted by lip leaders were beyond banal:  Wills: "Are you ok?" Kate: "Yeah" In the carriage: Wills: "There are lots of people here".  Kate: "Yeah".   Just like the conversations of the other Royale Family.  Whilst not the most interesting, they looked sensational and the Middletons did very well under the pressure.  Pippa will get her own TV show, her alledgedly sexually ambivalent brother was one of the best dressed men at the wedding and no wonder Mike Middleton couldn't wait to get home to Bucks and jump on his lawn mower in relief.  The family scheming had not only bagged the big one, it had also ensured that the whole family would be made for life, even if the most embarassing moment went to Carole's choice of disco party song, 'We don't have to take our clothes off.....to have a good time, oh no.'  At least Prince Charles didn't throw Camilla's grand child off the balcony Michael Jackson style as was for seconds the thought in everyone's head.

What better way for Obama to win his 2nd term in office than kill Osama Bin Laden!  What a load of old tosh, they must think we were born yesterday.  Now that Obama has shown us his birth certificate and Donald Trump must be fuming, am sure we will see Osama's death certificate, but don't hold your breath.  Why not spin a great story when you're lagging behind in the polls, shoot the mad mullahs in the tranquility of their bougainvillea luxury villa in the sun Team America style, "OMG there's the motherf**ker" and toss them immediately into the sea, why makes perfect sense.  Sarah Palin was going to give a speech about it but she's not sure who Osama is, she think she's running against him in the next primary and she has absolutely no idea where Pakistan is even located.  In today's Los Angeles Times she says 'Osama's death is a victory for the victims'.  Am afraid that it is a little too late, Time magazine summed it up by saying, "In many ways, he [Bin Laden] is yesterday's man".

Having just returned from a fabulous 10 days in Dubai, I have to say despite the lovely weather here in the UK - it is still rather cold unless you walk on the sunny side of the street.  Dubai averaged 37-40 degrees every day and it was a very pleasant heat once acclimatised.  They said that if they built it people would come and see it, which is not strictly the case.  The recession has run deep and long here and whilst the Malls (Dubai Mall being my favourite, closely followed by DIFC) are well populated with families at the aquarium and the restaurants at all price levels are heaving, the tills are not running out of paper in the clothes and other retail stores.

There is certainly culture if you seek it out and whilst sounding like a complete tourist, the Big Bus Company Tours are probably the best way to see the City condensed into a 48 hour ride.  New Dubai which is anything built further out than Sheikh Zayed Road is monstrous and over built in parts and reminds one of the Costas. However, the cleanliness and passion for service, although pretty patchy and inefficient, is well meaning in the most part.  Bartering is always fun for anything and there are a few bargains but hard to find.  Shopping and eating out is about a third more expensive than London and the Nobu at The Atlantis on The Palm wasn't a patch on Nobu in London, either in the service which was pretty shoddy - the black cod arrived a whole 25 minutes after the steamed broccoli and rice- and the atmosphere and clientele left something to be desired.  The way of life is more relaxed and I managed to catch up with some wonderful friends that now call Dubai home. It seems a good option for a family holiday what with the guaranteed sunshine year round, the locals emphasis on family life, family geared activities and little to zero crime. Having said that still not quite ready to leave the dirty, grey skies of London to live elsewhere just yet.
Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest, or maybe you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:
1.  Enjoying a delicious lunch at Heston Blumenthal's new restaurant Dinner at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Knightsbridge.  The service is almost better than the food;
2.  The full Guardian obituary  http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/02/osama-bin-laden-obituary;
3.  Tempting fate by booking al fresco events this summer, started already with the perennial favourite Lemonia;
4.  Must, must, must use more sunblock;
5.  Jewellery from Ippolita at Harrods;
6.  Waiting for The Killing to be reduced on Amazon & then wanting to know that the fuss is all about, sadly missed it on TV;
7.  No need to join a gym, just log onto pay as you gym and make a choice;
8.  Watching Young, Rich & Househunting on BBC3;
9.  Going to the 5 x 15 talks/events, more interesting and well run than BookSlam;
10.  Looking forward to the Bank Holiday at the end of May....zooming on another aeroplane.

The Royal Wedding...

The Lowdown, the analysis & the cutting remarks on the most hyped day of the year are work in progress.... to be continued shortly......

Keira Knightley, The World Gone Mad & Jonny Lee Miller's crucial bits......

So do you find Keira Knightly irritating?  Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss as Martha and Keira Knightley as Karen in The Children's Hour by Lillian Hellman, a story of false accusation and the power of buried sexual passion.  If you go to the play awaiting some knee trembling action, then you will be sorely disappointed, however, the acting throughout is superb.  Even though the first half of the play is weak in its writing and you can almost confidently arrive after the interval and still know what is going on.  Whatever you think of Keira, she is tremendous on stage, with an amazing presence, especially in the final scenes with her fiance, (played by Tobias Menzies who allegedly had an affair with Über actress Kristin Scott Thomas whilst performing in Chekhov's Three Sisters in the West End) and with six times Oscar nominated Ellen Burstyn, who you cannot believe would be so taken in by young whipper snapper Mary's erratic manipulative behaviour (played by the watch this space, she will be a superstar, Bryony Hannah).

The drama was certainly played out on stage for real, when the Valentine's Day performance was cancelled due to a crack in the auditorium wall.  On another evening this week, stagehands had to pull down the safety curtain at the Comedy Theatre in Panton Street, after a chair was crushed as a pillar descended for a new scene.  After 10-15 minutes with no announcement, the curtain went up to reveal a different chair and the column had been put back.  Am sure that with the quality of the acting the transition with the problems were smooth and just wished I had seen the whole cast perform together in a stronger written play.

So the world has gone mad.  No, not the crazy fact that Matt Lucas will soon to be seen in Les Miserables and Glenn Close has been cast as Susan Boyle in a biopic of SuBo's life.  Where is Tony Blair when you need him?  The sanctimonious Middle East Peace Envoy has been nowhere to be seen since the Middle East demonstrations kicked off.  Will the balance of power return to Egypt, who was the equivalent of the US in its day?  Tony is probably still reeling from his debate 'Is Religion a Force for Good in the World' in Toronto at the end of last year, with the staunch aethist Christopher Hitchens winning over Blair: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddsz9XBhrYA  Cameron has already apologised today for being slow to get Britons out of Libya.  When will this coalition get ANYTHING right, it is painfully amateur.  Even Nigel Farage would have done a better job.

Let's hope that Nostradamus predictions will not come true this year or next. He has been right so far on Diana's death, Hitler and World War 2 and the death of the two Kennedy brothers.  He has foretold of a comet, called Wormwood, striking the Earth's surface on 21st December 2012 with the likelihood of the UK being destroyed (make a note in the diary to get away that Christmas) and creating a huge disaster. He has also predicted that World War 3 will start sometime between 2011 and 2012 and that it will be a war between the Christian world and the Arab world. The war will destroy many countries, except for the countries who will not take part in the war, being India and China.

Buddhists amongst us will know from meetings with teachers that the troubled world goes on for rather a long, long, time.  Much longer than our lifetimes and we are only at the start of the troubles.  Good luck to those seeking democracy in their countries and we channel good thoughts to them, overcoming oppression and unfairness as Gandhi and Martin Luther did before them.   The world will become liberal, although it will take a very, very long time.  It is unlikely that poverty will be completely eradicated in the future and aid to Africa is another debate for another time.  What is happening is history in the making and we watch almost helpless, not knowing what to do.

Apart from being glued to the box on the impending overthrowing of strange looking dictators, I have also been glued to the theatre seat.  London offers so many excellent choices and the most fantastic play of the year so far can be seen at the Olivier Theatre at the National on the South Bank, where Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller are giving it 110% in Danny 'slumdog millionaire' Boyle's production of Frankenstein.  If you like penises - then for 10 minutes in the not to be missed opening scene you will be in for a treat - book a seat near to the stage, I was far too far back in the auditorium and from my seat was unclear what Angelina had got excited about in days gone by.  The staging, atmosphere and music is brilliant, the acting world class and perfectly cast, with the monster being educated by a blind man who lives in the woods, with lighter moments when he next meets Victor Frankenstein, the monster quotes Milton and Paradise Lost as that is how he has been taught - note for Toby Young's Free Schools.  They are both monsters in their own ways and I would see it again, only this time with a seat much closer to the action.

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest or not to you, or maybe you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:
1.  Looking forward to trying the two new restaurants on Pollen Street in Mayfair - Pollen Street Social & 5 Pollen Street - brimming with imaginative names!
2.  Enjoying Heston Blumenthal's Channel 4 show, sorting out the awfully run NHS food
 trolleys and other frightful companies - I say give them Daylesford's Organic Butterscotch ice cream, that would make anyone feel better in an instant;
3.  Applauding Nicola 'superwoman' Horlick for encouraging quotas needed to get more women into boardrooms, although am secretly concerned that this doesn't turn into one big bitchfest which is unfortunately the case with all women teams;
4.  Puzzled that the Department of Health has warned Britons to cut down on their red meat consumption because it increases our risk of developing bowel cancer, surely everyone already knew that and cut down years ago, obviously not;
5.  Missing the Simon Rattle shows in London this week, a trip to Berlin it is then;
6.  Julian Assange loses Swedish extradition case - someone's going to beat him up big time;
7. Loving the Waitrose free weekend sheet recipes, a great range and easy to make;
8. Toned arms are in - just check out Cameron Diaz and Paris Hilton, both transformed after going out with gym hardmen;
9. Switching off the heating now Spring is ALMOST in sight, although remembering we always have one last snow flutter before real Sping is upon us;
10.  Will try NOT to stay up ALL night on Sunday watching The Oscars, when the highlights can be seen on Breakfast TV on Monday morning, way too sensible......alas I think Inception will shock pip The King's Speech to the post of Best Picture....

Kate's Wedding, Egypt and Sally Bercow.....

Are you looking forward to Kate's wedding?  It's going to be a cracker isn't it?  Amazing hair, dress, guests, food and debauchery?!  No not THAT Kate, double yawn all the way to the Shires, Kate from Croydon of course.  The fabulous Kate Moss whose wedding the first weekend of July will be the one we are all waiting for.  Has Kate Moss lost it, people whisper?  Not at all.  She is a better mooded Madonna, a girl who has been around the block more times than the pizza delivery man and still she is the height of chic and affection in every woman's heart.  Who wouldn't pay to be a fly on the wall of whichever hotel suite she chooses, on the wedding night of KM, that is Kate Moss, rather than KM as in Middleton who would be rather more cucumber sandwiches than caviar licked off the body, anybody, ahem that was just the best man.  I have a sneaking feely that Mossy has actually curtailed her wild days and realises that the excesses shows too well on the face after the age of 35.  Quite frankly I wouldn't be surprised if she read a good book in bed, probably Keith Richards' autobiography with a ciggy and a cup of fresh peppermint tea, whilst everyone's imagination of her is far wilder than her public persona suggests.

I couldn't be less interested in the other Kate's wedding.  In fact, am going on holiday to Arabia during that time, taking advantage of the extra public holiday and unlikely that Al Jazeera will have anything other than a passing glimpse on the news on the fateful day, when I expect there will be more students protesting outside Westminster Abbey, Bob Crow will arrange a successful tube strike and Brian Haw will have the ring-side marquee on Parliament Square.  Doors to manual will do a roaring trade in selling bunting through the party planners website and everyone will be a winner.

Check out: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1353873/My-Big-Fat-Royal-Gypsy-Wedding-How-Kate-look-marrying-traveller-style.html as one who does not usually promote the musings of The Daily Mail, however, anyone familiar with the television programme, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, may well enjoy it.  As a woman with a penchant for non-showy dresses and make-up, it is unlikely that Kate Windsor will commission a fairytale castle wedding cake, her mother rather unfortunately, will not be wearing pink terry towelling slippers under her mother of the bride's outfit and the groom will hopefully have not learnt his chat-up lines from 'grabbing' as the programme showed young men doing to women they fancied at the party, to show them who was boss.  Who knows what happens behind closed livery doors however.

In the past century, Egypt has been the stage for many ideologies: liberal nationalism, “Arab socialism,” Islamism, Pan-Arabism. Anyone who has spent time in Cairo talking with the political opposition knows how fractured and repressed it has been. The city is thick with human-rights lawyers, political activists, and intellectuals who have been blacklisted, jailed, and tortured—and yet pockets of civil society have persisted.   No one can predict with confidence what might develop after Mubarak—if, in fact, his regime falls. One anxiety, particularly in the United States and in Israel, is that the Muslim Brotherhood, despite its lateness to the revolution, will find a way to power, drop any pretense of co-operation with secular liberal factions, and initiate a range of troubling policies, including an insistence on Islamic law and the abrogation of the long-standing peace treaty with Israel. Last Thursday, Mubarak played on this anxiety, telling ABC that all the disorder was the fault of the Muslim Brothers.

Barack Obama, who came to office not least because of his opposition to the war in Iraq, went to Cairo in 2009 intent on assuring the Muslim world of a new kind of policy: engagement without hegemony. “I know there has been controversy about the promotion of democracy in recent years, and much of this controversy is connected to the war in Iraq,” he said. “So let me be clear: no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other.”  So go on Obama, do you REALLY believe that?!

He continued, "That does not lessen my commitment . . . to governments that reflect the will of the people. Each nation gives life to this principle in its own way, grounded in the traditions of its own people. America does not presume to know what is best for everyone, just as we would not presume to pick the outcome of a peaceful election. But I do have an unyielding belief that all people yearn for certain things: the ability to speak your mind and have a say in how you are governed; confidence in the rule of law and the equal administration of justice; government that is transparent and doesn’t steal from the people; the freedom to live as you choose. Those are not just American ideas, they are human rights, and that is why we will support them everywhere".  Well COME ON then Barry, show the world why we voted for you instead of that nutter Palin and show your country's true negotiation skills rather than your weapons for a change.

We should not be too contemptuous towards Sally Bercow.  She looked far more attractive than other MP's wives wrapped in a sheet, even if she does have a strange fantasy about doing it within the sound of the bells of Big Ben, whatever floats your boat down the Thames for sure, at least you have the view dear. Quentin Letts, the Daily Mail's, ascerbic sketch writer, wrote, "The duties of hostess weigh heavily on 'Sally the Alley', as she was known in her days as a loose-knickered trollop". If you're drawing that kind of fire it calls for more than an ability to simply turn the other cheek, as Dan Hodges writes in this weeks New Statesman.  http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/dan-hodges/2011/02/sally-bercow-speaker-wife

A SWAG (speakers' wives & girlfriends) rather than a WAG.  Although, if she were a man we would say, 'What a Wag,' as in someone with an enormous amount of character, although slightly edgy and naughty, albeit someone we are sort of cringy about in the company of parents.  Good luck to Sally Bercow, let the old boys club rip a little at the seams, keep twittering and entertaining us, especially on Question Time and Sky News weekend newspaper reviews.  Westminster would be so much more dull without you.

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest or may be you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:
1.  Not having enough time to see all the terrific films currently on at the cinemas, Biutiful or Never Let Me Go, why that would have to be both then;
2.  Why do all the SPACED out drivers come out on a Sunday?  surely EVERYONE can't be hungover and completely out of it?;
3.  Alternating between the new Adele - 21 and Tinie Tempah Disc-Overy albums on the i-Phone, surely an amazing pairing, just look what happend to Dizzee Rascal on Electric Proms, rapping with a full orchestra behind him, pure magical mad couplings;
4.  Gulping at the price I paid for the very SMALL bottle of Miller Harris un petit rien by Jane Birkin;
5.  Not being terribly inspired by any of the current exhibitions in London which is a first, usually see EVERYTHING big & small;
6.  As a nut, potato and alcohol allergy sufferer was fascinated to read this week's The New Yorker 'The Peanut Puzzle', are we indeed increasingly allergic as a problem that we've created through our diet and environment? http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/02/07/110207fa_fact_groopman;
7. Yoga this Tuesday or getting Sebag to sign new tome Jerusalem in Ken High Street, hmmmm;
8. Not being very upset that Andy Murray lost the final, THAT lime green shirt, you could tell it was going to be a disaster the moment you clamped eyes on him;
9. If I had to choose only one nation's food I could eat for the rest of my life, it would be Japanese;
10.  Weekend resting, the property world has gone crazy yet again, everything selling out and  population forecasts project an additional 7,000 people per annum moving into Central London between 2011 and 2020, now has never been a better time to buy, whatever the papers may say, they are not on the shop floor of the worlds most exciting 'market'.......

The King's Speech, Jessie J & Alan Johnson....

I can hardly believe that January is almost over.  It has whizzed by like a flash and I have only just posted my FIRST blog of the year.  So belated Happy New Year to you all and hope that 2011 is a great year for ALL of us.  Who said January is a boring month?  Well it is of course, or it was for the first few weeks, restaurants empty, streets clear of traffic.  Only now, three weeks in, everyone is completely dullified by the prospect of staying in every night to do their 300 sit ups and press ups and gradually the little devil inside everyone's brain is saying, 'go on, live a little'.  Which means my favourite Japanese restaurant in London, the small but perfectly formed Dinings in Marylebone is god damned booked up until February.  The healthy regime is going well, with just the odd roast potato here and there and whilst I love green tea, I have never drunk so much in my life.  Well it is supposed to ward off cancer and other nasties, so I will continue drinking it all day for as long as I can.  Giving up alcohol has been very positive and very good for the bank balance, although a little dull on long evenings out with friends.  At least I wake up fresh and alert, which is very much needed in the busy property market upon us for the start of 2011.

Determined to catch a number of possible Oscar nominated films, I have so far seen The King's Speech and Black Swan which are at two preposterously ends of the spectrum as can be.  For all its hype, I probably can say that I would have been perfectly happy to see Black Swan on DVD.  Natalie Portman is absolutely beautiful in the movie and whilst dance professionals have been quick to cast their critical eye over her style, which is to be harsh, not quite Sylvie Guillem, she is terrific.  Especially after spending a year ballet training and her whole life involved in dance, NP should be given a huge amount of credit. 

It is quite disturbing how her descent into madness manifests itself and her paranoia with the rest of the bitchy corps.  Barbara Hershey excellent as the over protective mother and the nail cutting and skin tearing are wince enducing.  Although I have to say, that looking back in my previous life, I found more of an alliance with the Black Swan Lily than the White Swan Nina.  Perhaps as in the previous Darren Aronofsky film, 'The Wrestler', Mickey Rourke could have starred, now that would have been a hoot.  And to think I actually fancied Mickey rotten in 9 1/2 weeks for about 9 1/2 weeks afterwards, I thought of nothing but spray cream and strawberries.

Does Colin Firth deserve an Oscar?  Absobloodylutely.  He was fantastic in The King's Speech and both Helena Bonham Carter and Geoffrey Rush also deserve an Academy Award too.  After the death of his father King George V (Michael Gambon) and the scandalous abdication of King Edward VIII (Guy Pearce), Bertie (Colin Firth) who has suffered from a debilitating speech impediment all his life, is suddenly crowned King George VI of England. With his country on the brink of war and in desperate need of a leader, his wife, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter), the future Queen Mother, arranges for her husband to see an eccentric speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). After a rough start, the two delve into an unorthodox course of treatment and eventually form an unbreakable bond. With the support of Logue, his family, his government and Winston Churchill (Timothy Spall), the King will overcome his stammer and deliver a radio-address that inspires his people and unites them in battle.

Remember, this is the man who whilst being rather liberally minded, took Britain into the second world war, in such a dignified and morale boosting way.  The late Queen Mother such an amazing support and Guy Pearce looking dashingly handsome and decadent as Edward VIII preferring to bask in champagne fuelled splendour with the man eating Mrs Wallis.  What added extra interest was the amazing background furniture on the set of the film, much of the interiors filmed at 33 Portland Place, http://www.33portlandplace.com/ the grand residence of Edward Davenport where all manner of exciting parties have been held over the years!  How ironic in lots of ways that a film such as The King's Speech was filmed there.  The ghost of liberal Bertie lives on in Central London.

Do it Like A Dude - well why not?  This week's smash hit coupled with an apparently amazing gig at North London's Scala this week.  The fabulous 22 year old Essex girl deserves to have great success.  She should be awarded a Brit award just for her lip stud make up in any case.  Two years ago she suffered a minor stroke, and was a struggling songwriter in Hollywood ready to pack it all in.  Great catchy pop-rock songs that she wrote herself and a very powerful singing voice with self deprecating attitude when interviewed on TV.  Check her out, maybe save copying the look for somewhere other than your local Sainsbury's though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOf3kYtwASo  Punk for the modern teenager, I can see the acres of posters on the walls, as I did with Adam & The Ants, The Belle Stars and the infinitely brilliant Siouxsie and the Banshees.

The old joke about the long term married rich couple, 'If you could cook, we could sack the chef,' and she replies, 'And if you could f***, we could sack the chauffeur,' must have resonated, a little too close to the knuckle for poor Alan Johnson this week.  Not only has he had to suffer the turmoil of his wife Laura having an affair with his former bodyguard Paul Rice, it has now emerged that Paul Rice, a married man, has also been poking AJ's PA.  Dear, dear, dear, as the many uptight Daily Mail readers around the country must be thinking.  Whatever political persuasion one tends to align oneself to, it really is hard reading for this good man, even if he wasn't the best prospect for a Labour Chancellor not knowing that VAT was not payable on food or the current rate of National Insurance.  Am sure his mind has been on other matters for a long time before the story broke.

A hard working man, Alan Johnson rose through the ranks, having previously worked in a supermarket, a postman in Slough, before getting involved in the CWU and further setting him on the road to a career in politics.  At least he had a number of real jobs that the electorate can identify with, before going into Government, which is more than can be said for most of the dewdrops in the top jobs at present.  His extraordinary exit opens up new opportunities for Labour, especially his replacement as shadow chancellor, Ed Balls, who also as Gordon did, favours the refusal to rein in spending during hard times, which is one of the reasons for the huge size of the deficit.  Balls, Brown and Darling was a rather dodgy sounding trio.  Now we only have Balls, hopefully he will show that he has the cojones for the job.

Charm and smarm can only take you so far, which brings me nicely to you've been tangoed Tony Blair, the saviour of all things Middle Eastern and the most inquired man in Britain was back in the dock this week defending his right to be 'gung-ho' on tackling Saddam Hussein.  A debate that will not end for a long time yet.  On the other side of London, Boris was still banging on about building another airport, or London will be left behind its European cousins.  He will I expect, safely get through for a second term as London Mayor, especially now he has abolished the West London congestion zone charge which of course everyone in the SW's are delighted about and also now that Ken has blown it with his antics on the Iranian TV show book club! 

Hurrah! bankers bonuses are being announced.  Thought you would be cross eyed at that one.  However, I cannot be too cynical as they are my clients and my buyers and on the whole are very nice people, one on one anyway talking property, rather than in a gaggle.  Chris Blackhurst wrote an excellent article in Thursday's Evening Standard on his reasons why Goldman must repay its debt to society.  Goldman Sachs revealed it was giving staff £9.6 billion in pay and bonuses, which works out at an average of £269,000 per employee and that includes, the lowliest of the bank's support staff.  Darn it, I left there in 1998, far too early!  This same week One Hyde Park was launched with a fanfare lunch for 300.  Perhaps the recession is truly over?  Let's keep thinking positively that that is indeed the case.

Aside from above, 10 other things I read, did and encountered this week that may be of interest or may be you would prefer me to shut up and you can go back to reading your new Heat magazine:
1.  Giving up on Dancing on Ice after the first week, I really couldn't bear to become hooked, life's too short for ITV early Sunday evenings;
2.  Booking to see Vernon God Little at the Young Vic, adapted from the 2003 Booker Prize winning novel by wild man DBC Pierre;
3.  Religiously going to dynamic yoga with the brilliant Stewart Gilchrist & taking all week to recover afterwards, am seeing results;
4.  Making a change from repetitive chart music on the car radio, determined to learn more about classical music, my Grade 7 piano training was not in vain, I will take it up again someday;
5.  Realising that a trip to Dubai for Easter is super expensive, especially if you really want to stay at the One and Only;
6.  Enjoying Sunday roasts at The Grazing Goat in New Quebec Street, W1 - the non Sloane alternative from the owners of The Orange on Pimlico Road & The Pantechnicon in Motcomb Street;
7. Enjoying the Austerity Mum blog - cutting down by cancelling 'the helicopter transfer from Nice to our hotel in Ramatuelle this Friday,' how could she?  it's the only way to get to 55 in the summer traffic ;-)
8.  New Years Resolution of staying in and reading all my books & magazines that are piled high as Kilimanjaro is not going so well, January can be SO social!
9.  Upset at not being able to get tickets for the King Lear at the Donmar Warehouse - even the one night it is being beamed live to cinemas is sold out throughout London;
10.  Going to the private view party of Gilbert and George's Urethra Postcard exhibition at the fab White Cube, Mason's Yard, SW1 - oh do behave chaps.........